Honoring the Threads That Hold Us: Reflections from Austria on Belonging, Ritual, and the Secure Base Within.
Here in Salzburg, autumn arrives differently. The air sharpens, church bells echo across the valley, and shop windows fill with candles and chrysanthemums. As Allerheiligen (All Saints’ Day) approaches, there’s a stillness that settles over the land a collective pause that’s woven into Austrian life.
On November 1st, families gather not for feasts or parties but to visit the graves of loved ones. They bring lanterns, clean the headstones, and adorn them with pine boughs and wreaths of fresh flowers. Even the smallest towns glow with candlelight as dusk falls. The next day, Allerseelen (All Souls’ Day) extends the remembrance — a gentler, quieter honoring of the ancestors, the forgotten, and those who came before us.
It’s not a religious act alone. It’s cultural, embodied — an annual ritual of belonging. The kind that says, You are part of a lineage. You come from somewhere. You are held by more than what you can see.
In Mexico, Día de los Muertos holds a similar truth — but with more color and music. Families build ofrendas, or altars, filled with marigolds, photographs, candles, and favorite foods of those who have passed. Streets fill with parades and laughter. Death isn’t feared; it’s remembered as part of life’s circle.
Across continents, these traditions share a heartbeat: a way of staying connected. They remind us that love doesn’t end, it changes form — that belonging extends beyond time and space.
As a psychologist and ecotherapist, I often think of these rituals through the lens of attachment and the secure base.
In childhood, a secure base is what allows us to explore the world and still feel safe returning home. In adulthood, we recreate that same rhythm - through connection, ritual, and meaning.
Traditions like All Saints’ and Día de los Muertos are collective secure bases. They give us something to return to - something steady when the rest of life shifts. Even if we no longer share the same faith or culture, we can still find grounding in the essence of these days: remembering, connecting, belonging.
Creating a secure base isn’t about having perfect boundaries or constant calm. It’s about knowing where home lives inside of you - that place you can return to when things feel uncertain.
Sometimes that looks like:
Lighting a candle for someone you miss.
Cooking a meal that ties you to your roots.
Spending time in nature and listening for the ancestors beneath your feet.
Writing a note of gratitude to someone who’s shaped you.
Rituals, however small, become anchors for the nervous system. They signal to the body: you are safe, you are connected, you belong.
This week, as lanterns flicker across Austria and marigolds bloom in Mexico, I invite you to create your own moment of remembrance - whatever your heritage or beliefs. Pause. Breathe. Light something that connects you to your own lineage of love and care.
When we root ourselves in continuity, we can meet life’s changes with more steadiness and grace.
That is the heart of a secure base.
In Roots and Realness,
Karin
P.S. If you haven’t already, download your Secure Base Freebie — a gentle seasonal guide to grounding, regulation, and belonging.
Interested in learning about my retreats?
Don’t forget about my Holiday Coaching Special!
Traveling home to Austria reminds me that we all need places of safety and renewal—especially as the holiday season approaches. For me, the mountains are one form of a secure base. For you, it might be a daily practice, a grounding tool, or a guided conversation.
That’s why my Secure Base Freebie is still available for you to download anytime. It’s a gentle way to steady your nervous system and prepare for the season ahead.
And if you feel like you need a little extra support, I’ve opened Holiday Career & Clarity Coaching Sessions at a reduced rate:
Regular: $225 → Holiday price: $175
Available: November 15 – December 31, 2025
Focus: helping you create calm, clarity, and confidence going into the holiday season
